Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
