So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just google imaged poop.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
