Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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