so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
