between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
