4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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