fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
