oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
