come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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