I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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