my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
