"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
