Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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