but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
