honey bunches of taint.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
