I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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