Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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