Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
