i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
