Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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