You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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