I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
