Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and she was petting her beer can
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize