i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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