mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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