maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
