btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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