I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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