We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
