Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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