you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
