This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize
