Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize