I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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