I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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