You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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