Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
is it fun? or sober?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
