Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You can't motorboat a personality
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
