why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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