As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
