Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize