I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
