My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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