I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
