so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
