Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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