So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
