I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
