She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
