Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
