Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
