Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
