You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
