I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Less talking, more tequila
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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