We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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