I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize