I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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