ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
