is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
