i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
